“The wise man looks into space, and does not regard the small as too little, not the great as too big; for he knows that there is no limit to dimensions.” Lao Tsu
A dear friend of mine just passed away. She was 76 years old and had been struggling with dementia. She recently suffered a fall and related complications. She died in peace in a beautiful hospice setting surrounded by her loving family. She had been a source of light in my life for over 50 years. We met when our babies were babies.
Leanne was a quirky, quixotic person who had a heart of gold. At one point in her life, she taught two sections of kindergarten with 35 kids in each section while raising children of her own as a single mom. Still, she brought a warm smile and smart intellect to every interaction we had. She bubbled with energy. She had many struggles in life, but she still brought all she could to every moment. Leanne was as good a person as you could possibly hope to meet in life. She was curious, humble, warm, loving, committed, and capable. My wife and I will miss her infectious enthusiasm.
Leanne was a beautiful person. She exuded love, she warmly embraced life, she was as supportive to me as any person I have had the privilege of knowing. When I heard of Leanne’s death, I thought of the song Heart of Gold, by Neil Young. The lyrics go like this:
I want to live
I want to give
I’m just a miner
for a heart of gold
It’s these expressions
I never give
That keep me searching for a heart of gold
And I’m getting old
Leanne tried her best to live her life to the fullest. She gave everything she had to make the world a better place. She often found rocks in her mining efforts, but she kept on digging. She often expressed herself in ways that weren’t entirely understood, but she kept on trying. She kept on searching for hearts of gold even as she became old and frail. Most importantly, in her search, she brought the gold of her giving in every way she could.
I am at a point in my life when friends start to fall. My college roommate died almost 20 years ago. He lost a battle to leukemia. I also lost one of my best friends from high school who had run a roofing business for his whole career and, in the process, suffered many falls and orthopedic injuries. Ultimately, the pain was too much to manage, and he took his own life. There have been many other losses as well. Loss is a part of life. Each loss, though, still hurts deeply.
Now, as I approach 80, I expect to lose many other dear friends along the way. I can either dread those inevitable losses, or celebrate the moments I have left. I can either focus on what will be taken away or be thankful for the gifts that each of those lives represents. Losing Leanne made me reflect on what a difference one life can make and how important it is to be grateful for the moments we have.
One life can make a difference. The babies I knew 50 years ago are now grown women and men with children of their own. I know Leanne has had a lasting influence on all their lives.
What does it mean to make a difference? To me, it’s being fully present in the moment with friends, family, and foes. It’s showing kindness in as many encounters as possible. It’s demonstrating a love for life, a love for others, and a love for a purpose beyond ourselves. It’s being genuine, vulnerable, and honest. Leanne exhibited all of those characteristics. Her life made a difference for so many people.
Lao Tsu advised us not to regard the small as too little, and the great as too big; for there is no limit to dimensions. We often observe small acts of kindness as not that significant. We often feel awe for the great impact that some people are able to achieve in their lives. It’s easy to let the shadow of people like Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie, Masala, Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt, or Barack Obama obscure the “little things” that people do in their everyday lives. I think, however, that sometimes we may inflate the persona of the truly remarkable lives that populate our history and dismiss the importance of small moments that make a big difference. We are all multi-dimensional beings trying to find meaning in our lives and to make some small difference in the world. Leanne was no small example of what it means to bring all of you to every moment in ways that have a big impact.
Leanne was just one life. She was small in stature, but she had one of the biggest hearts I have ever known. Oh, she could be stubborn and frustrating, but I only knew her to be kind, loving, and generous. She reminds me that one life can indeed make a difference. Leanne, we will miss you. You leave a big hole in our hearts from your living, your giving, and your own heart of gold.
I’m hoping that as we move through the arc of life with all of its joys, heartbreaks, glory and grief that we will remember that small acts of kindness and radiant joy can make a positive difference in the world. Thank you, Leanne, for the life you led, for the light you shared, and for the moments we had.
Leanne’s death is a reminder of the possibilities each life represents. In the mass of humanity, it is easy to feel insignificant, a single drop lost within an endless sea. The notion that one life cannot make a difference, however, is a dangerous fallacy. History and our everyday experiences remind us of the profound impact an individual can have on the world.
One of the most compelling ways a single life can make a difference is through acts ofkindness and compassion. A simple helping hand, a word of encouragement, or a selfless act can have a ripple effect, impacting not only the immediate recipient but also inspiring others to do the same.
Furthermore, individuals can make significant contributions through their dedication and expertise. From scientists making medical breakthroughs to artists fostering understanding through their work, individuals with specific skills and knowledge can address critical challenges and enrich the lives of countless others.
Ordinary acts of courage and integrity can have a profound impact. Whistleblowers who expose wrongdoing, individuals who stand up for what they believe in, and everyday heroes who act in the face of adversity all contribute to a more just and equitable world.
The ability of one life to make a difference isn’t contingent upon grand gestures or extraordinary circumstances. It often lies in the everyday choices and actions we take. While the world may seem vast and complex, underestimating the power of one life is a mistake. Through acts of compassion, dedication, and courage,individuals have the potential to spark change, inspire others, and leave a lasting positive mark on the world. We all have the ability to contribute to a better future, and by embracing the power and possibilities within us, we can collectively create a more just, compassionate, and hopeful world. May it be so.
Also published on Medium.
A beautiful tribute to a wonderful woman Rick.
[…] great deal of madness to find nuggets of genius. Like the tribute I made to my friend Leanne in a recent post, whom I described as a miner for Neil Young’s heart of gold, I’m guilty of being a miner for […]