President Donald J. Trump steps up to the first tee.
Surrounded by his entourage of cheerleaders and cops,
He takes a mighty swing.
The ball slices into the deep woods.
“I’ll take a mulligan,” he mutters.
He tees up his second try and duck hooks it into the rough.
After groaning a bit, he plops into his golf cart for his next shot(s).
On his way, an assistant finds the ball, cleans it, and improves the lie.
Trump, pleased at the good fortune of a favorable lie, takes another swing.
This ball dribbles into a sand trap next to the green.
“I’ll take a mulligan,” he mumbles.
His “do over” splashes into the lake bordering the fairway.
Trump assumes the ball skipped over the lake and ends up on the green.
Thanks to a helpful assist from another enabler, his fantasy comes true.
“Did you see the backspin I put on that ball!” Trump proudly proclaims.
“Never seen anything like it before in my life,” the handlers cheer.
“Damn,” he complains, “I thought that ball was closer to the hole.”
“You are absolutely right claims the caddie – I’ll move it to where it belongs.”
Trump drives his cart onto the green to save his energy and take a look.
Now, only 10 feet away from the cup, Trump lines up the putt and takes a poke.
He misses to the right, drops another ball, and misses again.
“Close enough,” he asserts. “Give me a par, but it should have been a birdie.”
As he drives the cart onto the next tee, he stumbles out and lines up his shot.
Secret service agents are scouring the course looking for wannabe assassins.
Drones are hovering overhead to make sure no pesky press are lurking.
Caddies are scurrying after every errant shot to make sure they are favorably placed.
Trump fusses and cusses before every shot and takes mulligans on misses.
He finally finishes the round with a triumphant fist pump and grin.
“I would have broken par,” he muses, “if there weren’t so damn many distractions.”
Like every round of golf he plays, this one cost taxpayers about one million dollars.
In the first month in the White House, he has played about 10 rounds of golf.
Meanwhile, Musk purges and freezes and snoops around looking for ways to save.
Each recorded shot (mulligans not included) costs taxpayers about $10,000.
Each stroke of his pen, however, costs lives, and allies, and spies, and ties.
Trump’s mulligan at the White House costs far more than mulligans in the Club House.
His whole life has been “just another chance,” as we suffer through dance after dance.
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