Goals, Guideposts, and Gratitude

Standard / by Rick Bellingham / April 19, 2025 / 2 Comments

In a recent NYT article, Roger Rosenblatt, age 85, shared his 10 secrets for growing old happily. Here’s his list with my brief interpretations.

Nobody’s thinking about you. Get over yourself.
Make young friends. Connect with people who have a fresh perspective and who are thinking more about living than dying.
Try to see fewer than five doctors. Don’t let your life revolve around Dr. visits.
Get a dog. Find a source of unconditional positive regard.
Don’t hear the cheers. Don’t imagine you are someone special – don’t live for recognition.
Everyone’s in pain. Empathize with others instead of catastrophizing with yourself.
Listen for Bob Marley. Make music and art parts of your life.
Join a gang. Find a group with whom you can socialize.
Learn to live with your regrets. Let go of the past.
Start and end every day by listening to Louis Armstrong. Begin each day with something that inspires you and end each day with something that calms you.

I’m only 80, but, other than getting a dog, that list makes a lot of sense to me. Nothing against dogs. I just can’t see myself taking a dog out for a walk in the middle of winter when I’m 95. May I be so lucky.

During these times, when most people I know are suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome, I have had to pull out all the tools in my life-saving kit to not only survive this raging storm but also to find the energy to fight back. In this post, I will share three buckets of possibility that have worked for me: 1) Start each day with aspirational goals, 2) follow some key navigational guideposts, and 3) stay grounded in gratitude for what we have. Taking my cue from Rosenblatt’s steps 1, 6, 7, and 10, let me start with some selected lyrics from a song by Kansas:

“Carry on my wayward son

There’ll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest

Don’t you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason

My charade is the event of the season

And if I claim to be a wise man

It surely means that I don’t know

On a storm sea of moving emotion

Tossed about, I’m like a ship on the ocean”\

Yup, it sure feels like being tossed about on the ocean. Here are some aspirational goals I reflect on each morning during my morning meditation to help me navigate these stormy seas: They are organized around three simple mantras I picked up from reading Gurdjieff:

GOALS

I am:

At one
At peace
Calm and still
Here now

I can:

Lighten being
Be kind
Extend love
Smile on whatever comes my way

I wish:

To awake (yes, woke is good)
To unify
To harmonize
To heal

GUIDEPOSTS

The guideposts I use for avoiding rocks or running ashore are these 12 simple markers:

Focus energy on your primary purpose, e.g., arrive Home safely and whole
Take into account the context, e.g. how big are the waves and what is the history
Read the room, e.g. discern what’s going on in the moment
Care for those you love
Identify a growth goal
Be present
Take the initiative to be helpful
Accept and forgive differences
Embrace camaraderie
Share your thoughts and feelings appropriately
Speak up
Shed whatever light you can

GRATITUDE

There is so much I’m grateful for, and I acknowledge how privileged I am to be able to feel thankful for so much in my life—especially given the extreme suffering going on around the world. I begin my gratitude journey with the largest possible perspective: I offer gratitude for the earth, water, the sun and the air we breathe. Then I give thanks for the time I’ve had on earth, for the knowledge I can access, and for the ever-expanding space of the universe. I continue by remembering that the 14 billion-year history we are continuing with our existence as humans, with the evolution of our thinking (although sometimes I’m not so sure about this one), and for the sounds of nature. Finally, I give thanks for the blessings of love, hope, senses, sex, and biological roots.

Those goals, guideposts, and gratitude acknowledgements help me find a way to get through each day without crashing and, if I’m lucky, make things a little better. Keeping an open mind and heart and welcoming new experiences also helps. I have no idea if any of those ideas resonate in the least, but that’s for you to decide.

So what about this “stormy sea of moving emotions?” To me, that’s not only what’s happening around the world but also what’s happening to our own country. Whereas the Trump 1.0 strategy could be described as deny, delay, and divide, the Trump 2.0 strategy has shifted to defy, dictate, and dominate. That’s like the difference between a 5.0 earthquake and a 7.0 earthquake. His overriding desire is to make people dependent on him – which always deteriorates to a lose/lose outcome.

David Brooks suggests in a recent column that this change requires an uprising that is not normal. Brooks describes Trumpism as a threat to all we have valued in our short history as a country. It is about the acquisition of power—”a“ frontal assault to make the earth a playground for ruthless men” by destroying institutions. He implores us to band together to resist this destruction – like the universities and legal firms are finally starting to do. I think Brooks is right. Communities need to come together to create a unified strategy, to share resources, and to leverage collective strengths. Going it alone will not work even though we are all tempted to hunker down.

Heather Cox Richardson reminds us that our current situation has deep roots in history. This year marks the anniversary of the lighting of the lantern in the Old North Church 250 years ago. As you recall, local citizens gathered on Lexington Green to fight back against the increasingly malign policies of the king. The “shot heard round the world” refers to the opening of the American Revolutionary War on April 19, 1775.

I’m hoping as individuals we can focus on our goals, our guideposts, and what we are grateful for. We need to have the energy to take care of ourselves and our loved ones. I’m hoping that as communities, we can find the commitment, the capacity, and the capabilities to resist as best we can. Finally, I’m hoping we can use this crisis to create a culture of interdependence that enables all of us to get back on a growth path instead of simply trying to survive the storm. Maybe the anniversary of the American Revolution will give us a shot of courage to resist a wannabe king. And perhaps this Easter we will say, “We have risen.” May it be so.