A gentle breeze, a whispered plea,
“Grow, grow, grow,” you say to me.
A tiny seed, in fertile ground,
A future bright, all around.
With sun and rain, a patient hand,
I heed your call, across the land.
From humble root to reaching high,
I touch the sky, as seasons fly.
So whisper on, that soft command,
To grow, grow, grow, hand in hand.
For in this growth, a beauty lies,
Reflected in my open eyes
“Every Blade of Grass Has Its Angel that Bends Over It and Whispers, ‘Grow, Grow. ‘” by Jennifer Anne Moses
I was reminded last week of how important celebrations are. Our twin grandchildren had their bar and bat mitzvahs, and every event was an occasion for joy and gratitude. Friends and families came from near and far. What made the celebration particularly poignant is that there were so many reasons to pause and give thanks for this moment. Their stories are so celebration-worthy.
Annie and Ezra started their lives as warriors and have continued on that path in their own ways. They spent their first 105 days in a NICU in NYC fighting for their lives, and they have spent the last 13 years listening to all of us who loved them whisper, Grow, grow, grow. We even placed the opening poem “Every Blade of Grass Has its Angel” on their incubators. The mitzvahs proved beyond doubt that they had listened, that their humble roots had found fertile ground, and that they had reached a new high – hand in hand with each other.
In her Bat Mitzvah speech, Annie addressed the importance of social justice and charity. She cited Torah readings that discussed the centrality of compassion, social justice, and fairness. She implored us to go out of our way to help people in need. She shared stories of helping people break out of cycles of poverty and those who need assistance. She suggested that creating a world guided by justice and fairness is our responsibility. She shared her belief that small gestures can have a huge impact.
In his Bar Mitzvah speech, Ezra took on the issues of free will and the nature of God. He shared his view that, instead of being puppets of an omnipotent figure who doled out curses and blessings, we were blessed with the freedom and power to create new possibilities. He suggested that the reason for following the commandments should be to grow in wisdom and kindness and that we have the potential to choose a meaningful path. He posed the question, if we don’t have the freedom to make our own choices, then how can there be any meaning in life?
Whew! Those are big ideas and provocative questions from children so new to adulthood. As individuals, how can we be more compassionate and generous? How can we develop more agency through our exercise of free will and grapple with the nature of God? As a society, how can we address social justice issues and create a fair and equitable playing field? These are exactly the questions we need to be struggling with.
For me, it was particularly moving to witness their poise and presence and power and possibility. In an environment in which I find very few things to celebrate, their emergence was an uplifting experience. They gave me hope that future generations may lead us down a different path than the one we are on now. They reinforced my belief that the angels of our better nature can emerge even in dark times.
At the family and friends dinner the night before the ceremony, I shared three observations on Annie and Ezra revolving around Character, Confidence, and Comfort.
First, I noticed that they are more interested in character than conformity. I said:
- I am so proud that you have stayed true to who you are—you are your own persons.
- I am so proud that you are more interested in the needs of others than your own desires.
- I am so proud that the capaciousness of your heart far exceeds any capriciousness in your minds – you continually demonstrate love, kindness, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, compassion and big hearts
Second, I observed that what they may lack in confidence at times, they make up for with growing competence. I said:
- I am always stunned by how much you know and what you are capable of. You are Self-reliant, digitally dazzling, and insightful. You keep getting stronger physically, emotionally, intellectually and emotionally.
- I am so proud of your deep listening skills.
- I am so proud of your thoughtful questions.
- I am so proud of your ability to navigate not only the digital world but also the dizzying craziness of the culture in which we live.
Third, I shared my relief and gratitude that they find comfort from all the right sources. I said:
- I am so proud of how you find comfort in reading. I am amazed at the number of books you plow through every week. May that always continue.
- I am so proud you have open and inquiring minds
- I am so proud of your ability to discern what is right and what is wrong; what is true and what is false.
- I am so proud of your loyalty to your friends.
- I am so proud of how you find as much joy in your solitude as you do in your socializing.
I closed by saying, “Just as we whispered to you to grow, grow, grow as babies, we now cheer you on as you grow in every way. May you continue to strengthen your character, to build your confidence, and to find comfort in activities that give life meaning. And may you always continue to shine and radiate as you have for the first 13 years of your life.”
What made this celebration so meaningful is that they had earned the right to celebrate. They worked hard to learn Hebrew and craft their speeches. They came to the ceremony prepared after a lot of nudging from their mother and father and support from the rabbis. They believed in the possibilities they were espousing. And they had practiced the art of resilience for their entire lives.
Yes, I’m completely biased, and I think my grandchildren are very special. What kind of a grandparent would I be if I didn’t feel that way? So forgive me for gushing. AND, I’m sharing this story for three other critical reasons.
First, given the geriatric dominance in governments around the world, it’s time to celebrate our youth. In the Jewish tradition, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah not only marks the transition to religious adulthood but also is a celebration of the growth and future of its members. Society as a whole could benefit by recognizing that our future depends on the vitality, creativity, and contributions of our young people.
Second, bringing families together to celebrate significant milestones offers a bonding opportunity for communities that may be spread out across the world. Feeling the support and love of this larger community fills young adults with the belief that they can make a difference in the world. As governments become more controlled by aging politicians and families become more dispersed by social, technical, and economic changes, the feeling of being seen, valued, and heard becomes increasingly important.
Finally, given the context in which we are living at home and abroad, we need to celebrate the moments that give us a sense of connection, community, and joy. In the face of all the violence, cruelty, and impermanence that flood our senses, these special moments can provide a life raft for sustaining our sense of possibility.
In short, returning to the opening poem, what we need to celebrate in our youth is the humble beauty that lies reflected in their open eyes. May it be so.
Also published on Medium.
