Behaviors don’t come out of nowhere. They are typically either inspired by a vision, driven by values, or restrained by rules.
There is a reason that any transformational change effort—whether it’s personal or cultural—starts with vision, values, and rules which clarify why change is necessary and how it should unfold. Without a guiding purpose and grounding principles, all actions are, by definition, random and reactionary. The insane behaviors we are witnessing now, whether it’s the assassination of Charlie Kirk, the suspension of Jimmy Kimmel, or the indictment of James Comey all speak to the fact that our values have gone astray and our rules of constructive engagement are disappearing.
Several years ago I wrote a post on leadership values. In that essay, I listed over 70 values that could serve as the foundation for inspiring leadership. Here is a representative sample from A-Z:
Authenticity
Balance
Compassion
Discipline
Excellence
Freedom
Generosity
Humility
Interdependence
Justice
Knowledge
Laughter
Mindfulness
Norms
Openness
Positivity
Quiet
Respect
Service
Trust
Unity
Vitality
Wisdom
X-Ray Vision
Yearning
Zeitgeist
If you reflect on the leaders you most admire, you will probably find an abundance of ways in which they exemplify those values. I wrote that essay during the COVID virus pandemic of RNA genomes, structural proteins, and contagious particles. Now it seems like we are suffering even more from a viral pandemic of rage, retribution, greed, fear and power grabs. From my perspective, this administration is spreading this viral pandemic with many of it’s actions. I don’t know about you, but I see very few examples of behaviors in the current administration that are grounded in aspirational values or reasonable rules. Let’s face it. Our culture is infected, and the virus has gone viral.
The dynamics of any culture are driven by the interplay of values, rules, and behaviors. Ideally, they serve as the foundations for social harmony. All cultures are complex systems sustained by a delicate balance of core principles, formal regulations, and individual actions. Central to this balance are three interconnected elements: values, rules, and behaviors. Although they influence one another, each plays a distinct role in shaping social order. Understanding their differences and the consequences when they are misaligned is essential for grasping the importance of shared understanding and moral grounding within any community.
Values are the deeply held beliefs about what is worthwhile, meaningful, and ethically right. They serve as the guiding principles that inform individuals’ worldview and moral compass. For example, the value of honesty emphasizes truthfulness, and compassion underscores the importance of caring for others. Values are often abstract and universal, such as justice, freedom, or respect, but provide the basis upon which rules are constructed and behaviors are judged.
Rules are the explicit and implicit directives established by authorities, institutions, or communities to regulate conduct. They translate values into concrete norms and standards that facilitate social order. An example is traffic laws that mandate speeds limits and traffic signals, which are rooted in values of safety and order. Rules are enforceable and designed to promote predictable interactions among individuals. When adhered to, they help maintain societal stability and protect individual rights.
Behaviors are the observable actions individuals undertake, often influenced by their internal values and external rules. For instance, a person driven by the value of kindness might volunteer at a shelter; rules against theft might discourage people from stealing. Behaviors are the direct expressions of an individual’s moral and social alignment or dissonance with the underlying principles and regulations.
When values, rules, and behaviors are aligned, social cohesion and mutual trust flourish. However, dissonance among these elements can lead to chaos, nihilism, or violence. Literature abounds with stories of such outcomes:
- In Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, Raskolnikov’s rejection of shared moral values leads to chaos within his soul and ultimately societal upheaval. His actions, motivated by a belief in his own extraordinary status devoid of shared moral values, result in suffering and alienation.
- In Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, Marlow’s encounters in the Congo delve into the darkness and moral decay within humanity.
- William Golding’s Lord of the Flies depicts a group of boys stranded on an island, initially attempting to adhere to social rules. When their behaviors diverge from shared values of civility and respect, chaos erupts, culminating in violence and death – exemplifying how the breakdown of the moral foundation leads to destructive behaviors.
- Anthony Burgess’s, A Clockwork Orange, describes a dystopian future in which a young delinquent, Alex, embodies anarchy and undermines social norms through his brutal actions.
- Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, explores the collapse of civilization and the struggle for survival.
- Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World presents a society that appears stable, but whose foundation is built on the loss of freedom.
Indeed, the fall of the Roman Empire demonstrates the consequences of eroding shared values, lax enforcement of rules, and deviant behaviors.
In all of these classic stories, as the moral fabric disintegrates, violence, disorder, and nihilism pervade the society—revealing what occurs when foundational principles are abandoned. Literature vividly demonstrates that, without a grounding in shared values and mutual understanding, social order is fragile, and the consequences of dissonance are often catastrophic. Recognizing and reinforcing the alignment of these elements is essential for fostering a just, stable, and compassionate society.
Values, rules, and behaviors are interdependent elements vital for societal stability. Values provide moral guidance, rules (written or unwritten) lead to enforceable standards, and acceptable behaviors translate into appropriate expressions of agreement or disagreement. When these components are misaligned—for example, when behaviors violate shared values or when rules are ignored—the result is societal chaos.
The question is, what can we do as individuals and organizations to make sure our stated values inform the written and unwritten rules required and desired to create justice and harmony? In short, how do we align our behaviors with our stated values and agreed upon rules? Only then can we reflect upon and hold ourselves accountable to the behaviors we all agree represent who we are and how we want to relate.
It seems to me that too many of us think that silence or violence are our only choices for dealing with the values that now define who we are as a country. For me, there is a lot of space between those two extremes that provides opportunities for different options: healthy conflict, open dialogue, deep inquiry, constructive criticism, honest feedback, direct dialogue, free expression, non-violent protest, meaningful conversation, and proactive initiative. I would like to think that these options give us the best chance for hopeful outcomes like harmony, clarity, and peaceful co-existence.
So what do silence and violence look and sound like. I hear silence in “This too will pass,” or “Time will tell,” or “We’ll just have to wait and see,” or “We need to be patient,” or “Well, it’s better than it use to be,” or “We’ve been through worse times.” I see silence when people retreat into their bubbles, or whisper their protests, or get lost in social media, or avoid hard conversations.
I hear violence in “Immigrants are eating your dogs” (Vance) in “Our choice is to fight or die” (Musk), in “We need to take a blowtorch to colleges and universities” (Bannon), in “Radical left lunatics are vicious and horrible” (Trump). I see violence in deporting immigrants to El Salvador and Sudan with no due process, in toxic polarization, in state censorship, in masked ICE raids.
I’m hoping our elected officials will return to the ABC’s of leadership: Authenticity, Balance, and Compassion. I’m hoping we start holding leaders accountable for the values and rules on which we were founded, and more people will break their silence and resist the violence. Finally, I’m hoping we will see deeper inquiry and dialogue, freer expression and feedback, and more proactive protests and initiatives. Hey, I will be happy with a meaningful conversation now and then. May it be so.
