Tag: quotes
Pretending
Our dog, Henri, is a big, brown Labradoodle with a loud, deep, fear-inducing bark that would give anyone pause to intrude uninvited. When we take him on a walk he prances loud and proud pretending he is the master of the universe. The truth is that he is a compliant wimp who wouldn’t hurt a flea.
Civility
“So let us begin anew—remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate. Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us.” —John F. Kennedy “The whole country wants civility. Why don’t we have it? It doesn’t cost anything. No federal funding, no legislation Read More
Zeitgeist
“Everything we say signifies; everything counts that we put out into the world. It impacts our kids, it impacts on the zeitgeist of the time.” —Meryl Streep “Even a genius cannot completely resist his Zeitgeist, the spirit of his time.” —Victor Frankl On an individual level, it’s hard to keep my spirits up these days. People are dying. The economy is in shambles. Restaurants and bars are closed. Lives and livelihoods are being destroyed. This Read More
Gratitude for the Gift
“The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love, a gift to be celebrated with joy.” —Henri Nouwen I have always been intrigued by the small slice of time humans have inhabited the earth. Most scientists agree that the earth was formed about 4 billion years ago and humans, in our approximate form, have existed a maximum of 400,000 Read More
When Effort Becomes Effortless
“The best effort of a fine person is felt after we have left their presence.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson When I turned 75, I took up playing the guitar. I have found it is not an effortless endeavor. I have to make great effort to remember the notes, find the right chords, keep the beat, strum the right strings, and remember the words. And things don’t come as easily when your fingers are not as nimble Read More
Helping in Hell
We recently went to the Broadway play, Hadestown. Watching someone go to hell has never been so much fun. Hadestown has its origins in Greek Mythology. The major characters are Orpheus, Eurydice, Hades, Persephone, and Hermes whose job was to guide souls into the afterlife, i.e. helping in Hell. Given the story line, one would think that the experience would be daunting and depressing, but the play is so well performed and directed that following Read More
Dignity and Dollars
I have been thinking a lot about dignity these days.
In simple terms, dignity is defined as the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.
We are born grasping for it. We end our days gasping for it. Read More
Desires and Delusions
“When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, ‘Oh yes – I already have everything that I really need.'”
―Dalai Lama
The critical difference between healthy and unhealthy desires and delusions rests in our ability to distinguish between noticing and needing. Read more
Values Matter
“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.” ―Michelle Obama “There are those who would draw a sharp line between power politics and a principled foreign policy based on values. This polarized view – you are either a realist or devoted to norms and values – may Read More
Possibilists
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” —Helen Keller “Pessimism is a luxury that a Jew can never allow himself.” —Golda Meir Optimists believe that desired results will occur no matter what the facts may portend. Pessimists believe that bad results will occur no what the facts may indicate. Possibilists believe that desired results can happen given the right conditions and the right amount of work. Read More
The Second Question
“God may be in the details, but the goddess is in the questions. Once we begin to ask them, there’s no turning back.” —Gloria Steinem “To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.” —Albert Einstein In the age of sound bites, skimming, and superficial answers, we need to dig deeper for substantive solutions. Our inclination is to find “quick fixes” Read More
Powering and Empowering
In collaboration with Artie Vipperla, Founder, Energy’s Way Real leaders can step into big moments and make something big happen. They bring a personal power to critical moments that makes all the difference. The key is to recognize the key moments where extra power is needed and to bring total being into those moments before it is too late. Think Churchill. Think Martin Luther King. Where did they find the personal power to make such Read More
Seven Essential Qualities of Leadership
“Well-behaved women seldom make history.” —Laurel Thatcher Ulrich In 1982, my dear friend Dr. Mark Edwards introduced a fair, impartial and objective tool to measure leadership effectiveness. He called it 360 feedback, which is now ubiquitous in organizations throughout the world. The idea is to give leaders the gift of multi-source feedback on critical leadership competencies so that they can understand more clearly how they are perceived by direct reports, peers, and more senior executives. Read More
Good and Evil
“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.” —Jimi Hendrix The world can be a brutal place, a place where people gain power not by being wise and respected, but by dominating and manipulating others. Nietzsche believed we needed to free ourselves from this dominance and to recognize that “good” and “evil” are just words—words that have been used by the powerful to justify anything they might choose Read More
Genius
I have always been willing to tolerate external idiosyncrasies in people when I see the substance and genius underneath the distracting behaviors. My family, understandably, has been intolerant of my tolerance when my commitments to unconventional people have had unpleasant consequences. It seems to me, however, that life is more exciting on the margins than in the middle.
Recovering Our Innocence/Earning Wisdom
I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be intimately involved with my twin grandchildren since they were born. I continually marvel at their innocence and joyfulness as they engage with the world and experience its wonders. As they are about to enter first grade, I wonder when and how they will start to lose their innocence. I wonder how long it will take before the rules, routines, and relentless pressures begin to strip away their sense of freedom and mystery.
Being Authentic in an Inauthentic World
“If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.” —Brené Brown OK, I’m embarrassed. In preparation for this post, I was searching for brainy quotes on authenticity and came across a full spectrum of pithy comments to profound insights. The most pithy and inauthentic quote Read More
Power
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” —Abraham Lincoln
In the face of tremendous adversity throughout the world, many communities have responded with incredible resilience. The real test of our humanity is what happens when we are given power.
My 50th
March 28th marked the 50th Anniversary of my first step into Army life in Vietnam and the first step out of the life I had always known. Serendipitously, I was having lunch that day with a colleague and friend whom I had known for 25 years but never understood his history with the war. As it turns out, he had an entirely different experience than I did. At 18 years old, he signed up for Read More
Grow Grow
“Every blade of grass has an angel that bends over it and whispers, ‘Grow! Grow!'” —Talmud
My grandkids were born prematurely at 26.5 weeks. Ezra weighed a whopping 2 pounds, and Annie weighed a fragile 1.5 pounds.
Principal and Principles
Dedicated to Fox Stoddard—a man of principle. There is an old story in which a man asks a woman if she would prostitute herself for $100.00. Grossly offended and insulted, the woman responds, “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.” The man presses his case further and asks, “How about a million?” The woman pauses and says, “Hmmm, I will have to think about it.” The man then delivers the crushing blow:
Measuring Meaning in the New Year
“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” —Thomas Merton OK, here’s the problem. When I searched the internet for “how to measure meaning,” the first item that popped up (the most popular Yahoo answer) was how to measure your penis. Apparently, a lot of men are still finding the greatest source of meaning in their life to be the size Read More
Parenting as Helping
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” —Frederick Douglass
To be effective helpers, parents need to create the conditions and develop the skills required to make a positive difference in a child’s life. Based on my analysis of research conducted over the past 50 years, there are four conditions and four skills at the foundation of effective parenting.
Different Differences
“We have to continue to learn. We have to be open. And we have to be ready to release our knowledge in order to come to a higher understanding of reality.” —Thich-Nhat-Hahn I recently attended a Buddhist family sangha in which the discussion revolved around child raising practices. It was a lovely service consisting of young parents who were seeking ways to develop more peace in their families and in the world. After a 15-minute Read More