In 1984, my wife, my first daughter, and I drove to JFK Airport to pick up our second daughter – Jang Hee JInn – fresh off a flight from Seoul Korea. She was a 3 month old bundle of wonder. I dropped the camera in my eagerness to welcome this new child from the Korean caretaker who had nurtured her lovingly for the long flight. We named her Emily Jane.
I’m writing this post to share my perspective on the Anti-Asian violence we have sadly witnessed over the past few years. Clearly, these tragedies are very personal for me. Not only do I have a Korean daughter, but I also have been studying Asian philosophy for 50 years. I have travelled throughout Asia and spent a month in China studying QiGong – a spiritual practice grounded in the work of LaoTsu, a Chinese philosopher around 2,500 BCE.
My first immersion experience with Asian culture was in 1968 when I served in the Vietnam war. At the time, contrary to the “dehumanizing, gook propaganda” I heard during basic training, I was struck by the graciousness and kindness of the Vietnamese families I met there. Vietnam is 90% Buddhist, and I found they practiced the philosophy of loving kindness very consistently. When I returned to Vietnam 40 years later to apologize for having participated in this American war of state sponsored murder, the Vietnamese I encountered could not have been more forgiving. As a result of all of these experiences, I am completely appalled and sickened by the horrific acts we are witnessing.
It seems to me there are four issues underpinning anti-Asian violence and none of them is an “Asian” issue. Responsibility primarily resides in provincial white attitudes, particularly those of white men. Asian people, especially women, are fetishized, stigmatized, sexualized, and the violence against them rationalized. Let me share a few thoughts.
Fetishized: Many men view Asian women as sensuous and submissive. They fantasize about women who obsequiously seek to please. A young, Asian friend of mind shared stories of creepy men suggesting that they have always had a “thing” for Asian women. Having spent a year in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh city), I understand how many soldiers can get seduced by “bar girls” who are doing what they can to earn a little money. Part of this whole problem stems from soldier’s experiences in Korea, Vietnam, and other Asian countries where women were enslaved to provide “comfort” to men. These wars essentially manifested as state sponsored crimes against Asian women that resulted in convoluted ideas about the inner life of these victims. The world-wide sex trafficking business still depends on satisfying men’s attitudes about Asian women.
Stigmatized: Asians, in general, are seen as the model minority. Many people assume that all Asians are musical and mathematical. I was always a bit self-conscious when Emily would carry her violin case to school. I thought, “Oh boy, I’m feeding a stereotype here.” Yes, many Asians are very talented in the Arts and very proficient in the sciences. The nature of prejudice, however, is to generalize the attributes of one person to the whole. There is also a cultural phenomenon here. Many Asian families value multi-dimensional proficiency and encourage their children to work hard to excel. This stereotyping, however, not only leads to many false assumptions, but also triggers a backlash in other minority communities who do not benefit from positive perceptions. Asians are often the victims of the resentment they engender from their model minority status. While it is true that about 20% of admissions to all Ivy League colleges are Asian, it is also true that not all Asians are able to attain that level of achievement. As a result of this admirable record of Asian academic success, unfortunately, many white folks feel embittered because an Asian student took their kid’s “slot.”
Sexualized Sadly, for many reasons, the recent mass shooting in Atlanta involved women who worked in massage parlors or salons. Again, there are many assumptions about Asian spas that simply are not true. This is a bit of a sensitive issue for me, because I have had massages in all seven continents. Among all the different types of massages I have experienced, I prefer Asian massage because it is based on a long history of healing therapies, and the therapists tend to be excellent practitioners.
Humans have used massage since the dawn of time as a means to rub away injuries and tired muscles. For me, it’s a very effective stress management tool. The earliest written records of this practice come from China by ancient practitioners of Chinese traditional medicine. The Chinese focused on a combination of herbs, exercise and massage to treat illness and maintain health. Chinese massage is a component of martial arts practiced by Buddhists and Taoists who view touch as key to spiritual growth. Chinese massage methods originated from the principle that illnesses arise due to deficiencies or imbalance in specific pathways or meridians. The Chinese believed that massage would allow positive energy to better flow through afflicted areas.
Asian massage has been sexualized in Western societies because many spas are fronts for sex workers. But most are not. (https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/stigmas-race-gender-sex-overlap-atlanta-slayings-76539413) Just as karaoke bars and some “barber shops” provide additional “services,” some massage parlors do the same. Many people, primarily men, have reached the false conclusion that all Asian massages have a happy ending. Thus, many Asian women who work in these establishments have to deal with the expectations that they will provide more than a healing massage. Some men can be very abusive and demanding when the women refuse to comply with their erotic fantasies. In Atlanta, they were shot and killed in a hate crime I believe was racially inspired.
Many Asian women who immigrate to America not only do not speak English but are also highly vulnerable legally and economically. This combination of factors can put them in a very precarious position prone to male abuse of power. Massage may be the only marketable skill they have in this country and their only source of income. My experience is that most Asian masseuses are very well trained in the ancient art and have no desire or intention to provide sexual services. The Atlanta killer claimed he killed the masseuses because they were too tempting. What he should have killed is his own delusions and fantasies. Many Asian women suffer from hyper-sexualization based on faulty assumptions.
Rationalized. Violence against Asians is rationalized because they are perceived as the cheap labor that is causing Americans to lose their jobs, and the source of a virus that is causing us to lose our lives. The Former President unleashed a great deal of anti-Asian hatred by continuing to refer to COVID 19 as the China virus or Kung Flu. Many people used this inflammatory rhetoric to justify their violent acts.
One thing I learned in my travels through China, Hong Kong, India, Korea, Japan, Vietnam, Cambodia, Singapore, and Thailand is that each country has a very distinct culture. It is a huge mistake and disservice to lump all Asians into one pot. While it is true that China is currently engaging in unfair trade practices, violating human rights, buying influence around the world, and refusing to be transparent about the origination of infectious disease; it is also true that China has made significant contributions to literature, art, and philosophy. Each Asian country has very distinct norms and values that manifest in unique ways. To ignore the unique characteristics of each culture is to diminish the defining differences of every culture and to miss the particular contributions of each person.
We tend to conflate and blame Asian ethnic groups for what its respective government does, even when there is no longer any relationship with that nation. Most Chinese Americans have no relationship to the PRC. Furthermore, Americans don’t blame British people in the US for what the UK Government does or Russian people in the US for what Putin does. Similarly, Americans abroad don’t want to be blamed for what the US president or US government does.
I feel very lucky to have been blessed with Emily as a daughter. She has brought so much light and love to my life. I’m also grateful to have had so many rich experiences with the Asian culture. I feel very sad that so many Asian Americans are suffering from the violence fueled by fetish, stigmas, sexualization, rationalization and hate. I hope that we, as Americans, can stop these stupid, blaming behaviors and start appreciating the many gifts that Asian cultures and individuals bring to us. May it be so.
Also published on Medium.
Well done my friend.