As we begin one of the most consequential years in history, I wanted to reflect on three themes that may play a big role in how the year turns out: Access, Excess, and Success. I’m sure there are many other words that might capture what’s most important at this particular point in history, but these three, for me, seemed to cut to the chase of what we face.
The questions I’ve been wrestling with that prompted this post are: “What do we say to our kids who will need to deal with the consequences of what we have created?” What can we say about all the hate-filled violence that keeps popping up around the world? What do we say about the polarization and divisiveness that keep us from addressing the problems we are facing? What can we say that might give our kids some hope for the future?
My feeble attempt to answer those questions was to write a letter to my 12-year-old grandchildren to give them some ideas to think about in the year ahead. I will share my perspective on the broader implications of access, excess, and success at the end of this post, but here’s what I wrote.
Dearest Annie and Ezra,
As you are about to become teenagers, I wanted to share some hopes and fears I have for this coming year and the transition you are about to make. I’m hoping that 2024 will lead to greater access to your best selves, less attachment to the excesses to which you are exposed, and unlimited success at being who you are. Yes, access, excess, and success. Let’s start with the end in mind: success in life.
Albert Schweitzer, a French polymath who received the Nobel Peace Prize for his philosophy of Reverence for Life, once said: “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” And I would add, if you love being who you are, then you will be truly successful. Life is about doing AND being. Being who you really are in as many moments as possible is the most meaningful measure of success.
Albert Einstein, perhaps the greatest scientist of all time, once said: “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” To me, being of value is the greatest success. If your focus is more on giving than getting, then your life will be a tremendous success. A successful life is about giving and helping, not taking whatever you want and getting whatever you need.
Being successful means having access to what you need without indulging in an excess of what you want. You have the amazing privilege of having access to so much in your life AND you have the enormous challenge of living in a world that suffers from too many excesses.
Amy Cuddy, an American social psychologist, once said, “Authenticity doesn’t mean you’re not filtering what you’re saying; it’s about being able to know and access the best parts of yourself and bring them forward.” As you continue to grow and develop, I’m hoping you will gain full access to your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and values, so that you will be really clear about who you are and what’s important in life. I’m also hoping you will remember that being authentic does not mean saying whatever comes to your mind.
You have access to amazing health care, education, housing, food, and parents. You need to know how privileged you are to have access to all those resources. You also have access to information about the best and worst things happening around the world, as well as to websites with helpful and hurtful content generated by good and bad people, as well as AI. While the internet has given us access to almost everything, it has also given everything access to us. You need to know how dangerous it is to have access to the full spectrum of content and people.
Voltaire, a famous French writer, philosopher, and historian, once said: “Use, do not abuse . . . neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.” I’m hoping you will use all of your gifts and talents to make a positive difference in the world. And I’m hoping that your happiness will come from an excess of loving kindness, compassion and connectedness in your life. You have been lucky enough to have many people in your life who love you completely. As you enter your teen years, you will experience a world that is suffering from excess in all the wrong places – excessive needs for wealth, status, power, and control, as well as fossil fuels, transportation, meat, and plastics. I’m hoping you will find happiness in all the right places.
Annie and Ezra, my wish for you in 2024 is that you will find easy access to your feelings, thoughts, values, and beliefs; that you will experience an excess of love, joy, wisdom, and personal power; and that you will be a complete success in being who you are. Here’s to 2024.
All my love,
DadDad
While these words are completely inadequate to address the challenges our children face, I thought that the quotes and ideas might be helpful to encourage them to explore more fully who they are and why they are here. For us older folks, the issues of access, excess, and success also seem relevant.
It seems to me that access is one of the biggest issues we need to address. How do we broaden access to health care, education, housing, and food for the 8 billion people on earth? How do we deepen access to our internal worlds? How accessible are our feelings, values, thoughts, and beliefs after years of numbing, conforming, conditioning, “correcting,” and protecting ourselves? How do we make access to Nature easier for all people?
Excess is also clearly a problem we need to solve. How do we wean ourselves from fossil fuels, plastics, and mansions? How do we restrain our insatiable need to travel the world? How do we reduce our appetite for meat, poultry, and fish? How do we defeat extreme violence around the globe? How do we respond to excessive amounts of hate, fear, greed, desire, identification, and illusions about ourselves? How do we create excessive displays of love, compassion, and kindness? Is that possible?
For me, how we define success is also at the root of many of our problems. When our measures of success revolve around money, status, square-footage, acquisition, and dominance, then equitable resolutions seem unattainable. When we are driven more by competition and independence than collaboration and interdependence, we increase conflicts and confrontations and reduce the chances for positive outcomes for all. When we define ourselves by external measures, we tend to ignore our inner lives. On the other hand, if we measure our success by inner peace, calm clarity, and healing harmony, then anything is possible.
So, yes, access, excess, and how we measure success are at the heart of our problems as well as our possibilities. In closing out this post and this year, as I said to my grandkids, my New Year’s wish is that we find easier access to our feelings, thoughts, values, and beliefs; that we experience an excess of love, joy, wisdom, and personal power; and that we will be completely successful in being who we are and becoming who we want to be. May it be so. To a happy, healthy, harmonious, and heart-filled 2024.
Heroic heartfelt effort to embrace so much and to distill so succinctly your blessing for these precious ines and for all of us. Loving blessings from a blood and soul brother back to you🙏❤️