Author: Rick Bellingham
Paved Roads and Free Passes
I recently attended the Spring Concert for my grand-kids at their private school. It was perfectly orchestrated performance fully attended by parents and grandparents who applauded appreciatively for every sound and song. The program was a charming event that showcased the musical progress these elementary school children had made over the year. The children were singing songs and playing tunes from the ’60s and each was dressed in fabulous outfits purchased from Amazon. I loved Read More
Helping in Hell
We recently went to the Broadway play, Hadestown. Watching someone go to hell has never been so much fun. Hadestown has its origins in Greek Mythology. The major characters are Orpheus, Eurydice, Hades, Persephone, and Hermes whose job was to guide souls into the afterlife, i.e. helping in Hell. Given the story line, one would think that the experience would be daunting and depressing, but the play is so well performed and directed that following Read More
Who, Why, How
“Hmmm, what am I going to do today?” Isn’t that the question that pops into our head when we start each day—particularly after the first cup of coffee?
What if the first questions we asked were: Who am I? Why am I here? How do I want to relate to myself, my family, my friends and Nature today? If we were clear about our answers to those three questions, figuring out our action steps would not only be easier but we would also be more peaceful, productive and powerful.Read More
Dignity and Dollars
I have been thinking a lot about dignity these days.
In simple terms, dignity is defined as the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.
We are born grasping for it. We end our days gasping for it. Read More
Desires and Delusions
“When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, ‘Oh yes – I already have everything that I really need.'”
―Dalai Lama
The critical difference between healthy and unhealthy desires and delusions rests in our ability to distinguish between noticing and needing. Read more
Sanity 101
A 21-year-old white nationalist drives 600 miles to El Paso, Texas and kills 22 men, women and children with his assault weapon because he hates immigrants―particularly Hispanics. If this isn’t insanity, I don’t know what is. Let’s face it. We now find ourselves in the ranks of the insane.
Marianne Williamson cites a “dark psychic force” happening in America. Russ Douthat describes a “black spiritual hole” as the source of the hatred and violence ripping apart our hearts and our heartland. Read More
Values Matter
“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.” ―Michelle Obama “There are those who would draw a sharp line between power politics and a principled foreign policy based on values. This polarized view – you are either a realist or devoted to norms and values – may Read More
Possibilists
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” —Helen Keller “Pessimism is a luxury that a Jew can never allow himself.” —Golda Meir Optimists believe that desired results will occur no matter what the facts may portend. Pessimists believe that bad results will occur no what the facts may indicate. Possibilists believe that desired results can happen given the right conditions and the right amount of work. Read More
The Second Question
“God may be in the details, but the goddess is in the questions. Once we begin to ask them, there’s no turning back.” —Gloria Steinem “To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.” —Albert Einstein In the age of sound bites, skimming, and superficial answers, we need to dig deeper for substantive solutions. Our inclination is to find “quick fixes” Read More
Conflict Clarity
“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” —William James We all face conflicts in life. Conflicts occur then people have different points of view, values, and principles. There is no way we can avoid conflicts. We can develop a healthy attitude toward conflict, however, that enables us to calmly view differences as opportunities for growth. Healthy Read More
Blindness
“We’re blind to our blindness. We have very little idea of how little we know. We’re not designed to know how little we know.” —Daniel Kahneman I just finished two incredible books about entirely different subjects with the same central theme: We are searching for meaning in the midst of massacres by blinding ourselves to our ultimate destruction. In Machines Like Me, Ian McEwan leverages his skills as a novelist to craft a story that Read More
Peace Babies
I learned what it was like to live in a first-world country over the past two weeks: no litter, no homelessness, on-time bullet trains, state-of-the-art communications, universal health care, and lower levels of inequality and crime than almost any developed country. Less than 1 civilian in 100 owns a gun compared to 127 guns per 100 civilians in the United States. And children have affordable access to quality education from Pre-K (starting at 2 years Read More
Systematic Sensitization
“Have we raised the threshold of horror so high that nothing short of a nuclear strike qualifies as a ‘real’ war? Are we to spend the rest of our lives in this state of high alert with guns pointed at each other’s heads and fingers trembling on the trigger?” ― Suzanna Arundhati Roy “The Cherokee used to fear that taking a photo would make them lose their souls. Over exposure and desensitization is pretty close Read More
Borders and Boundaries
“Vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust. It’s not oversharing, it’s not purging, it’s not indiscriminate disclosure, and it’s not celebrity-style social media information dumps. Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.” —Brene Brown “Beauty has no boundaries, no rules, no colors. Beauty is like a religion. You can include everything inside it.” —Alessandro Michele “We must broaden the definition Read More
Allegiances and Aspirations
“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands—one nation, under God, indivisible—with liberty and justice for all.” The New York Times reported on February 19, 2019 that an 11-year-old African American child in Florida was arrested for his behavior after refusing to stand and recite the pledge of allegiance. When a teacher confronted him for not standing, and then told him he should Read More
Harmony
“Chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans have been living for hundreds of thousands of years in their forest, living fantastic lives, never overpopulating, never destroying the forest. I would say that they have been in a way more successful than us as far as being in harmony with the environment.” —Jane Goodall I just finished reading the book, Lawrence in Arabia by Scott Anderson in which he describes the deceit and folly surrounding World War I resulting Read More
Inner and Outer Life
“Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” ―Vivian Greene “Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” ―Maya Angelou A standard principle in counseling is that you have to go down and in before you can come up and out, i.e. doing the inner work is a fundamental requirement of doing meaningful outer work. Taking time for introspection is not giving in to Read More
Crisis and Choice
“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.” —Abraham Lincoln “King’s response to our crisis can be put in one word: revolution. A revolution in our priorities, a reevaluation of our values, a reinvigoration of our public life and a fundamental transformation of our way of thinking and living that promotes Read More
Powering and Empowering
In collaboration with Artie Vipperla, Founder, Energy’s Way Real leaders can step into big moments and make something big happen. They bring a personal power to critical moments that makes all the difference. The key is to recognize the key moments where extra power is needed and to bring total being into those moments before it is too late. Think Churchill. Think Martin Luther King. Where did they find the personal power to make such Read More
The Roots of Madness
When she was in middle school, my younger daughter attended a private, girls academy. She encountered a culture there that was ruled by tall, skinny blonde girls. These privileged and pampered young women believed that their appearance gave them inordinate power and status. And they were right. As a small, Korean child my daughter didn’t have a “get in free” ticket to the elite club. I don’t believe these girls were born to be mean, Read More
Seven Essential Qualities of Leadership
“Well-behaved women seldom make history.” —Laurel Thatcher Ulrich In 1982, my dear friend Dr. Mark Edwards introduced a fair, impartial and objective tool to measure leadership effectiveness. He called it 360 feedback, which is now ubiquitous in organizations throughout the world. The idea is to give leaders the gift of multi-source feedback on critical leadership competencies so that they can understand more clearly how they are perceived by direct reports, peers, and more senior executives. Read More
MindShare
At a family holiday dinner my older daughter asked the table, “What are your hopes and dreams for 2019?” As we went around to each person, most folks wished for less political craziness and more environmental sanity. I agreed with those sentiments, but in my customary role as the outlier, I said I hoped to exude more calm in the current crisis, to stay positive in a sea of negativity, and to focus more on Read More
Freeing Genius and Healing Madness
“There is no great genius without some touch of madness.” —Aristotle “One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.” —Nietzsche “A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free.” —Nikos Kazantzakis I have always been willing to tolerate idiosyncrasies in people whom I believe have deep substance or a higher perspective. This willingness has sometimes created conflicts in Read More
![The Library of Congress Hughey Gold [child with football]](https://rickbellingham.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/hugheygoldfb-2.jpg)
Football Culture
“When I won the world championship, in 1972, the United States had an image of, you know, a football country, a baseball country, but nobody thought of it as an intellectual country.” —Bobby Fischer Well Bobby, I guess the more things change the more they remain the same. Speaking of football, my family was recently watching the annual Ohio State vs. Michigan football game that would determine who would go to the Rose Bowl and Read More