Spiritual Health
Binary Blindness
“Obviously, there is no such thing as race, and in many ways, sex is a continuum, not a binary. So it doesn’t make sense to label people in that way.” —Gloria Steinem I get to the airport 7 hours before departure in hopes of catching an earlier flight home. It’s a busy Friday so all flights are full. I’m stuck with the bleak prospect of surviving the whole day in a chaotic scene I deplore. Read More
Possibilists and Pragmatists
For me, dreaming is simply being pragmatic. —Shimon Peres There are probably a lot of things I do to drive my family crazy. Two behaviors high on the list, though, are surely my habit of rushing people to stay on my agenda and my constant attraction to whatever seems new and exciting—whether that’s pursuing a new idea or purchasing a new house. I guess I could best be described as an impatient possibilist. For me, Read More
Spirituality and Religion
“Religion is for people who are scared to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been.” —Bonnie Raitt “Spirituality is meant to take us beyond our tribal identity into a domain of awareness that is more universal.” —Deepak Chopra My wife and I (and our dog, Henri) recently spent 38 hours driving from San Diego, California to Traverse City, Michigan. We didn’t want to put 10-year old Henri in the underbelly of Read More
Genius
I have always been willing to tolerate external idiosyncrasies in people when I see the substance and genius underneath the distracting behaviors. My family, understandably, has been intolerant of my tolerance when my commitments to unconventional people have had unpleasant consequences. It seems to me, however, that life is more exciting on the margins than in the middle.
My 50th
March 28th marked the 50th Anniversary of my first step into Army life in Vietnam and the first step out of the life I had always known. Serendipitously, I was having lunch that day with a colleague and friend whom I had known for 25 years but never understood his history with the war. As it turns out, he had an entirely different experience than I did. At 18 years old, he signed up for Read More
And
“The complexity of things—the things within things—just seems to be endless. I mean nothing is easy, nothing is simple.” —Alice Munro I catch a lot of flak in my family for not being an avid dog lover. Every time someone raves about how much they love dogs, I get a sideways glance that barks, “Why can’t you be more like that?” The truth is that I like dogs, AND I have a hard time accepting Read More
Torment and Terror
It’s hard to penetrate the emotional depths of people who have suffered or are suffering extreme abuse, trauma, or cultural conditioning. Empathy is hard enough when a person’s experience falls within the bounds of “normality.” In extreme cases, words never seem to be sufficient to comfort or heal. In the last few weeks, I read three brilliant books telling very different stories of torment and terror. My Absolute Darling by Gabriel Tallent is a fictional Read More
The Best Use of Our Time
Thirty years ago my wife threw a pan at me. We had just finished our first year of living in Toronto, Canada after I had accepted a big job with Northern Telecom. While I was traveling all over the world attending business meetings, she was stuck at home with the kids knowing no one and dealing with an unhappily deported teenager and a happily dependent four-year-old. She had taken a leave of absence from a Read More
Measuring Meaning in the New Year
“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” —Thomas Merton OK, here’s the problem. When I searched the internet for “how to measure meaning,” the first item that popped up (the most popular Yahoo answer) was how to measure your penis. Apparently, a lot of men are still finding the greatest source of meaning in their life to be the size Read More
Different Differences
“We have to continue to learn. We have to be open. And we have to be ready to release our knowledge in order to come to a higher understanding of reality.” —Thich-Nhat-Hahn I recently attended a Buddhist family sangha in which the discussion revolved around child raising practices. It was a lovely service consisting of young parents who were seeking ways to develop more peace in their families and in the world. After a 15-minute Read More











