Tag: executive coaching
Perspective
Perspective is the lens through which we experience the world, and it has the power to shape our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, attitudes, and actions. Since this blog is entitled, Perspectives and Possibilities, I thought it was about time to share some perspectives on perspective.
Pretending
Our dog, Henri, is a big, brown Labradoodle with a loud, deep, fear-inducing bark that would give anyone pause to intrude uninvited. When we take him on a walk he prances loud and proud pretending he is the master of the universe. The truth is that he is a compliant wimp who wouldn’t hurt a flea.
Parenting for Interdependence
When I was a kid growing up in the ’50s and ’60s, I experienced what it felt like to be raised by a village. The whole neighborhood had an open door policy. I could freely and fearlessly walk into any house—the doors were always unlocked—and just hang out. Wherever we happened to be playing, the parents acted more like resources than cops. Any parent would take disciplinary action when needed with the full support of Read More
Sanity 101
A 21-year-old white nationalist drives 600 miles to El Paso, Texas and kills 22 men, women and children with his assault weapon because he hates immigrants―particularly Hispanics. If this isn’t insanity, I don’t know what is. Let’s face it. We now find ourselves in the ranks of the insane.
Marianne Williamson cites a “dark psychic force” happening in America. Russ Douthat describes a “black spiritual hole” as the source of the hatred and violence ripping apart our hearts and our heartland. Read More
The Second Question
“God may be in the details, but the goddess is in the questions. Once we begin to ask them, there’s no turning back.” —Gloria Steinem “To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.” —Albert Einstein In the age of sound bites, skimming, and superficial answers, we need to dig deeper for substantive solutions. Our inclination is to find “quick fixes” Read More
Systematic Sensitization
“Have we raised the threshold of horror so high that nothing short of a nuclear strike qualifies as a ‘real’ war? Are we to spend the rest of our lives in this state of high alert with guns pointed at each other’s heads and fingers trembling on the trigger?” ― Suzanna Arundhati Roy “The Cherokee used to fear that taking a photo would make them lose their souls. Over exposure and desensitization is pretty close Read More
Being Authentic in an Inauthentic World
“If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.” —Brené Brown OK, I’m embarrassed. In preparation for this post, I was searching for brainy quotes on authenticity and came across a full spectrum of pithy comments to profound insights. The most pithy and inauthentic quote Read More
P and E Trump I and S
When I was a kid growing up in the 50s, my whole life revolved around kickball, basketball, running, climbing and hanging out with a neighborhood full of friends. My community consisted entirely of white, Christian, straight (as far as I knew) people. My world was physical and emotional. I measured success by goals scored and games won, and by how many friends I had in the In-Group.
Vision and Values
As an executive coach I often facilitate life-line and development planning workshops. The life-line exercise encourages people to share the significant events and important people in their life and how those people and events helped to shape their values. I challenge participants to be as open and transparent as they can be, and I ask them to risk sharing what may be outside their comfort zone. In spite of these guidelines, most people stay in Read More
Three Types of Trust
I’ve been married to the same woman for 46 years, and I can say unequivocally that I totally trust her. I trust her to do the right thing, I trust her to not throw me the under the bus (even though I have given her many opportunities), and I trust her to stand up for people in need of special help. When she makes a statement, I know it is based on sound research; she Read More
Stepping into the moment
Deepak Chopra describes stepping into the moment as those rare times when our mind is in the present – it becomes silent or generates the vibration “aah.” He suggests that present moment experiences reflect gaps in our perpetual, inner dialogue. Meditation is a way to enter that gap directly. Robert Carkhuff, whose groundbreaking work in helping and human relations led to a revolution in interpersonal skills training , writes that the “immediacy” response is one Read More
Thinking and Believing
Believe me—Daniel Kahneman got it right: we are more likely to find stories that support our beliefs than seek out evidence in the pursuit of truth. Kahneman is a professor emeritus at Princeton University who wrote the best selling book, Thinking, Fast and Slow. His work is focused on the psychology of judgment and decision-making for which he was awarded the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences. His findings challenge the assumption of human rationality. Clearly, Read More
The Three Dimensions of Leadership Development
Everyone has an opinion on leadership. Amazon offers over 300,000 books with “leadership” in the title and about 4 new books per day are published by aspiring gurus or established academics. It seems like leadership commands as much curiosity as religion. Why is that? I think there are three reasons. First, readers are looking for different solutions for their particular needs. Some want to learn the secrets of a one-minute manager. Others want an in-depth Read More
The Seven Dimensions of Leadership Assessment
In my work as an executive coach over the past 30 years, I have developed a useful methodology for assessing leaders. It combines the best approaches I have learned from multiple sources. When I first started in this profession, the prevailing perception was that anyone who needed a coach was in trouble. The coach was hired to fix a problem. Fortunately, that perception has evolved over the years. Now, executives without a coach are questioned Read More
Jails and Justice
My daughter, Emily, asked me a great question the other day: “How did your work in jail rehab inform your work with executives?” My answer: It was the best training I could have ever had. Why? Because the same principal applies to both: to get out of jail you need to move up the scale. Here’s the context and explanation. After returning from Vietnam, I spent 8 years in jail (1970-1978)—fortunately, not as an inmate, Read More
Range and Reach
I recently visited the Picasso Sculpture exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. It was a stunning display of the range and reach of Picasso’s work over five decades. As the introduction to the exhibit suggests, Picasso upended categorical distinctions. The retrospective collection provides ample evidence to support that observation. What struck me as I moved from room to room through MOMA’s beautiful exhibit spaces was Picasso’s range of materials (plaster, bronze, wood, Read More
Selecting Coaches
Forty years ago, I wrote my doctoral dissertation on the selection of counselors for public high schools. I didn’t write it to create a career-defining, landmark study. I wrote it to check off a box for the completion of my doctoral degree in counseling psychology. Little did I know that the profession of coaching and counseling would explode in the next century. Now, practically everyone either has a coach or is a coach. The question Read More
Leadership Lexicon
Leaders sometimes wonder why no one is following them. In most cases, the reason is because the leader does not possess all three essentials of effective leadership: Character, Commitment, and Competence. Leaders must be honest and ethical at their core, or people don’t follow. Leaders must also be committed to developing themselves and others. If people are not convinced of the leader’s commitment to their growth, they will not help the leader grow—and they will Read More
Free Will . . . or not
Copernicus destroyed the myth that we are central. Darwin destroyed the myth that we are special. Now, Crick and the neuroscientists want to destroy the myth that we are conscious. They suggest that all behaviors are simply manifestations of a conditioned brain – when the brain dies, we die. They posit that we operate simply out of habit. Essentially, they conclude that we are automatons with no free choice. Quite simply, our brain sends out Read More
The Centrality Delusion
In 1632, Galileo angered the Pope when he published a book in which he openly stated that the Earth was moving around the Sun. He was put on trial by the Inquisition in Rome, where he was found suspect of heresy, and forced to say that all of his findings were wrong. He was first imprisoned, and later confined to his house near Florence. This event was an early indication that debunking myths around centrality Read More