Tag: psychology
Perspective
Perspective is the lens through which we experience the world, and it has the power to shape our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, attitudes, and actions. Since this blog is entitled, Perspectives and Possibilities, I thought it was about time to share some perspectives on perspective.
Knowledge and Feelings
One of my best friends and I have been texting during the course of this pandemic to try to stay connected in spite of physical distancing. I shared with him how strange it felt to be living a very privileged life while millions of people were experiencing pain and suffering. “Yes,” he said. “It’s guilt on top of sadness and anxiety.” I thought he captured succinctly what many of us are feeling who aren’t unemployed, Read More
Erase and Replace
Being human means dealing with the reality of our own death. As mortal beings, we will all be erased from the earth one day and be replaced by a new generation. In less dramatic fashion, we all deal with the fear of being erased and replaced as a part of our day-to-day experience. Sometimes we don’t feel seen, heard, or respected. And we often feel angry, alienated, and alone in the face of not being noticed, Read More
Systematic Sensitization
“Have we raised the threshold of horror so high that nothing short of a nuclear strike qualifies as a ‘real’ war? Are we to spend the rest of our lives in this state of high alert with guns pointed at each other’s heads and fingers trembling on the trigger?” ― Suzanna Arundhati Roy “The Cherokee used to fear that taking a photo would make them lose their souls. Over exposure and desensitization is pretty close Read More
Artificial Emotions
“The tragedy of life is in what dies inside a person while she or he lives – the death of genuine feeling, the death of inspired response, the awareness that makes it possible to feel the pain or glory of other people in yourself.” —Norman Cousins We just bought an Amazon Echo, so we would have the facts of the world at our simple command. “Alexa, what’s the weather?” “Alexa, what’s the news?” “Alexa, play Read More
We
“I still can’t see, why Democracy means, everybody but me.” —Langston Hughes In a recent conversation with Due Quach (pronounced Zway Kwok), the creator and author of Calm Clarity, she shared new content she is developing to integrate lessons from the Johari Window, the Enneagram, and the Calm Clarity Brain 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0 framework. It struck me as a brilliant idea to tie these three tools together. The Johari Window is a simple way Read More
Recovering Our Innocence/Earning Wisdom
I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be intimately involved with my twin grandchildren since they were born. I continually marvel at their innocence and joyfulness as they engage with the world and experience its wonders. As they are about to enter first grade, I wonder when and how they will start to lose their innocence. I wonder how long it will take before the rules, routines, and relentless pressures begin to strip away their sense of freedom and mystery.
Speed of Evolution
“Everyone takes the limits of their own vision for the limits of the world.” —Arthur Schopenhauer
I recently attended a conference on digital acceleration and change leadership. The most shocking and provocative presentation stated that we will experience as much change in the next 20 years as we have experienced in the last 2,000 years.
Torment and Terror
It’s hard to penetrate the emotional depths of people who have suffered or are suffering extreme abuse, trauma, or cultural conditioning. Empathy is hard enough when a person’s experience falls within the bounds of “normality.” In extreme cases, words never seem to be sufficient to comfort or heal. In the last few weeks, I read three brilliant books telling very different stories of torment and terror. My Absolute Darling by Gabriel Tallent is a fictional Read More
Tribes and Teams
“Before the rise of the nation-state, the world was mostly tribal. Tribes were united by language, religion, blood, and belief. They feared other tribes and often warred against them.” —Robert Reich When I conduct teambuilding sessions, I often start by administering a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) so that I can understand the different personality styles on the team. The idea is to identify and leverage differences to achieve optimal performance. The MBTI has a continuum Read More
Parenting as Helping
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” —Frederick Douglass
To be effective helpers, parents need to create the conditions and develop the skills required to make a positive difference in a child’s life. Based on my analysis of research conducted over the past 50 years, there are four conditions and four skills at the foundation of effective parenting.
Telling it Like it Isn’t
“The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.” —Leonardo da Vinci We recently drove from Asheville, North Carolina to San Diego, California—about 36 hours of driving time. I was pleasantly surprised not to hit a single pothole. The roads were in excellent shape from coast to coast. Thank you, President Obama, for your stimulus package. The bump-less ride made me think of the broad assault Trump has made on the Obama legacy by Read More
Inspiration and Aspiration
“To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.” —Khalil Gibran, The Madman I once worked for a company that aspired to be a $10B corporation. I said to the executives at that time, “That may be a good goal but it surely isn’t a compelling vision, and it does nothing to inspire me.” I left the company after two years. Part Read More
Balance and Unity
“I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. Corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.” —Abraham Lincoln, Nov. Read More
The Fragility of Freshness
“If you can’t smell the fragrance, don’t come into the garden of love.” –Rumi “Let me not die while I am still alive.” –Hasidic prayer Knowing when to cut your avocado is a tricky task. One day too early and the fruit inside is too hard. One day too late, and it turns brown and mushy. Finding optimal freshness is a challenge with fruit and with life. I hate it when my strawberries get Read More
Ethereal Threads and Cosmic Fabric
“Creative interpretation of the world: Art. Personal beliefs trumping objective facts: Lunacy.” —Brian Greene. When you are swimming upstream in a powerful current, it’s not only hard to think about anything other than surviving, it’s also difficult to raise your head up to look around. This river we are swimming in has a mighty flow, and we are hanging on by a thread—perhaps an ethereal thread or a vibrating string as you will see later. Read More
Experience and Expression
Spending 8 years in juvies and jails certainly changed my perspective on what it feels like to have all your values violated. Fortunately, I was serving time as a counselor for incarcerated inmates in county jails and juvenile delinquency “homes” — not as a convicted felon in a federal prison. I had no trouble responding to inmates’ experiences and helping them find more constructive ways to express themselves. These days I’m wondering if we are really jailing the right people.
Reciprocity
Are the facts you think you know about immigration in the U.S. actually myths?–and what does the psychological concept of reciprocity have to do with the concept of being an American?
Ignorance and Inquiry
It seems to me that in our culture, the scarcity of inquiry has led to an abundance of ignorance. Some facts:
About 64% of Americans can’t name the three branches of government.
29% of Americans can’t name the vice president.
26% of Americans think the sun revolves around the earth.
The Rudder and the Soul
The executive function represents the highest level of mental competence. It is the ability to plan ahead, anticipate consequences, derive abstract meaning, and arrive at appropriate judgments.
Read my assessment of the various competencies necessary for strong leadership and find out how Donald Trump’s skills stack up against my criteria.
Taming Tourette
When I was 30 years old, I was diagnosed as having Tourette syndrome (TS).
It was a huge relief to me to finally have a name for what had been tormenting me since I was about 13 years old. I was also depressed to know that I would be dealing with this neurological disorder for the rest of my life.
Assessing Leadership Potential
We are currently in a dark period resulting from dark forces (Trump himself, Comey, Putin, racism, sexism, homophobia, white supremacy, and ignorance).
In the midst of this darkness, we all need to take responsibility for growing whatever light we can find within ourselves and in the people we love.
Presence and Presents
“We convince by our presence.” —Walt Whitman
You can’t fake being present in the long term…and other thoughts on how presents can’t stack up to the gift of presence.
Reacting and Responding
People deserve to be understood.
Many people are suffering from crushing pain that they just can’t seem to beat.
How can we respond–without reacting?