Tag: values
Conflict Clarity
“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” —William James We all face conflicts in life. Conflicts occur then people have different points of view, values, and principles. There is no way we can avoid conflicts. We can develop a healthy attitude toward conflict, however, that enables us to calmly view differences as opportunities for growth. Healthy Read More
The Best Use of Our Time
Thirty years ago my wife threw a pan at me. We had just finished our first year of living in Toronto, Canada after I had accepted a big job with Northern Telecom. While I was traveling all over the world attending business meetings, she was stuck at home with the kids knowing no one and dealing with an unhappily deported teenager and a happily dependent four-year-old. She had taken a leave of absence from a Read More
Principal and Principles
Dedicated to Fox Stoddard—a man of principle. There is an old story in which a man asks a woman if she would prostitute herself for $100.00. Grossly offended and insulted, the woman responds, “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.” The man presses his case further and asks, “How about a million?” The woman pauses and says, “Hmmm, I will have to think about it.” The man then delivers the crushing blow:
Parenting as Helping
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” —Frederick Douglass
To be effective helpers, parents need to create the conditions and develop the skills required to make a positive difference in a child’s life. Based on my analysis of research conducted over the past 50 years, there are four conditions and four skills at the foundation of effective parenting.
Inspiration and Aspiration
“To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.” —Khalil Gibran, The Madman I once worked for a company that aspired to be a $10B corporation. I said to the executives at that time, “That may be a good goal but it surely isn’t a compelling vision, and it does nothing to inspire me.” I left the company after two years. Part Read More
Quests and Questions
As long as humans have told stories, we’ve shared tales about people going on quests. There is a long list of these tales about quests of one sort or another in history and in literature. Here are a few of the more famous quests. About 2,000 BC, Gilgamesh embraced the quest to find the secret to eternal life. He started out as a cruel despot who raped any women he fancied. After losing his best Read More
Experience and Expression
Spending 8 years in juvies and jails certainly changed my perspective on what it feels like to have all your values violated. Fortunately, I was serving time as a counselor for incarcerated inmates in county jails and juvenile delinquency “homes” — not as a convicted felon in a federal prison. I had no trouble responding to inmates’ experiences and helping them find more constructive ways to express themselves. These days I’m wondering if we are really jailing the right people.
Vision and Values
As an executive coach I often facilitate life-line and development planning workshops. The life-line exercise encourages people to share the significant events and important people in their life and how those people and events helped to shape their values. I challenge participants to be as open and transparent as they can be, and I ask them to risk sharing what may be outside their comfort zone. In spite of these guidelines, most people stay in Read More
Renewal
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” —Samuel Beckett Remember when air traffic was shut down in Europe from the eruption of E15 in Iceland? It was April, 2010, when Eyjafjallajökull (E15) erupted causing floods to rush down the rivers and requiring 800 people to be evacuated. The eruption was so explosive it caused air travel disruption in Europe for 6 days. More tragically, it buried the farms below it Read More
The Tao of Money
I just spent a few days on Isle Royale, one of the best kept, National Park secrets in the United States. I walked ten miles a day on rugged trails on this spectacular island in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The views were stunning: pristine lakes, lush forests, breathtaking views, and occasional sightings of fox, moose, and wolves. These walks filled me with renewed appreciation for Teddy Roosevelt for founding and funding the National Parks Read More
The Morality of Normality
In our culture, it has become all too normal to abuse the environment, exploit workers, exclude groups of people, and misuse technology. In this post I share the three moral revolutions that need to happen to avoid atrocities like the atomic bombing of Hiroshima.
Delusion and Discrimination
Ezra, my 4 year-old grandson, has a favorite expression: “I NEED IT, RIGHT NOW!!!!” “It’s not fair when I don’t get what I want” is a common lament we often hear from people of all ages. Employees at corporations who are in the top 1% of all wage earners frequently complain that they should be making as much or more than their peers. After all, “isn’t it obvious that my performance is far better than Jane’s?” Family members Read More