Blog Posts — Page 10
We
“I still can’t see, why Democracy means, everybody but me.” —Langston Hughes In a recent conversation with Due Quach (pronounced Zway Kwok), the creator and author of Calm Clarity, she shared new content she is developing to integrate lessons from the Johari Window, the Enneagram, and the Calm Clarity Brain 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0 framework. It struck me as a brilliant idea to tie these three tools together. The Johari Window is a simple way Read More
Spirituality and Religion
“Religion is for people who are scared to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been.” —Bonnie Raitt “Spirituality is meant to take us beyond our tribal identity into a domain of awareness that is more universal.” —Deepak Chopra My wife and I (and our dog, Henri) recently spent 38 hours driving from San Diego, California to Traverse City, Michigan. We didn’t want to put 10-year old Henri in the underbelly of Read More
Genius
I have always been willing to tolerate external idiosyncrasies in people when I see the substance and genius underneath the distracting behaviors. My family, understandably, has been intolerant of my tolerance when my commitments to unconventional people have had unpleasant consequences. It seems to me, however, that life is more exciting on the margins than in the middle.
Recovering Our Innocence/Earning Wisdom
I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be intimately involved with my twin grandchildren since they were born. I continually marvel at their innocence and joyfulness as they engage with the world and experience its wonders. As they are about to enter first grade, I wonder when and how they will start to lose their innocence. I wonder how long it will take before the rules, routines, and relentless pressures begin to strip away their sense of freedom and mystery.
Being Authentic in an Inauthentic World
“If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.” —Brené Brown OK, I’m embarrassed. In preparation for this post, I was searching for brainy quotes on authenticity and came across a full spectrum of pithy comments to profound insights. The most pithy and inauthentic quote Read More
Speed of Evolution
“Everyone takes the limits of their own vision for the limits of the world.” —Arthur Schopenhauer
I recently attended a conference on digital acceleration and change leadership. The most shocking and provocative presentation stated that we will experience as much change in the next 20 years as we have experienced in the last 2,000 years.
Please, Help, Thank You
I am writing today to ask you to support the Matt Morgan Campaign for Michigan District 1. There are three reasons I’m supporting this campaign: Matt’s character, his commitment to the issues I feel strongly about, and his courage to act on his commitment. Character: The first question we should be asking about our leader is “What is the strength of their character?” It’s the foundation of any effective leader. In voting for a politician, Read More
Power
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” —Abraham Lincoln
In the face of tremendous adversity throughout the world, many communities have responded with incredible resilience. The real test of our humanity is what happens when we are given power.
My 50th
March 28th marked the 50th Anniversary of my first step into Army life in Vietnam and the first step out of the life I had always known. Serendipitously, I was having lunch that day with a colleague and friend whom I had known for 25 years but never understood his history with the war. As it turns out, he had an entirely different experience than I did. At 18 years old, he signed up for Read More
And
“The complexity of things—the things within things—just seems to be endless. I mean nothing is easy, nothing is simple.” —Alice Munro I catch a lot of flak in my family for not being an avid dog lover. Every time someone raves about how much they love dogs, I get a sideways glance that barks, “Why can’t you be more like that?” The truth is that I like dogs, AND I have a hard time accepting Read More
Torment and Terror
It’s hard to penetrate the emotional depths of people who have suffered or are suffering extreme abuse, trauma, or cultural conditioning. Empathy is hard enough when a person’s experience falls within the bounds of “normality.” In extreme cases, words never seem to be sufficient to comfort or heal. In the last few weeks, I read three brilliant books telling very different stories of torment and terror. My Absolute Darling by Gabriel Tallent is a fictional Read More
Culture, Complicity, and Courage
“Noncooperation with evil is just as much a moral duty as is cooperation with good.” ―Martin Luther King Jr., The Radical King The problem is that Trump is not the biggest problem. The real problems are the culture that got Trump elected and the complicity that keeps him in office. I can only hope we can find the courage to change the culture and to challenge the dysfunctional systems that are manifesting negative energy in Read More
Factivists
I recently saw a simple and profound bumper sticker with just one word describing the driver’s orientation to life: FACTIVIST. I thought, now there’s a person I’d like to meet—an activist with command of the facts. In the last couple of weeks, I also read Stephen Pinker’s wonderful new book, Enlightenment Now and Jeremy Lent’s inspiring new book, The Patterning Instinct. Both of these books arm us with the facts we need to become more Read More
The Best Use of Our Time
Thirty years ago my wife threw a pan at me. We had just finished our first year of living in Toronto, Canada after I had accepted a big job with Northern Telecom. While I was traveling all over the world attending business meetings, she was stuck at home with the kids knowing no one and dealing with an unhappily deported teenager and a happily dependent four-year-old. She had taken a leave of absence from a Read More
Grow Grow
“Every blade of grass has an angel that bends over it and whispers, ‘Grow! Grow!'” —Talmud
My grandkids were born prematurely at 26.5 weeks. Ezra weighed a whopping 2 pounds, and Annie weighed a fragile 1.5 pounds.
Caring Cultures
“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” —Margaret Mead
I’ve been lucky in my life to be a member of many caring cultures. I felt loved and respected growing up. Strangely enough, my team of co-workers in a jail rehab program …
Principal and Principles
Dedicated to Fox Stoddard—a man of principle. There is an old story in which a man asks a woman if she would prostitute herself for $100.00. Grossly offended and insulted, the woman responds, “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.” The man presses his case further and asks, “How about a million?” The woman pauses and says, “Hmmm, I will have to think about it.” The man then delivers the crushing blow:
Style and Substance
I just finished plowing through all 959 pages of Ron Chernow’s biography of Ulysses S. Grant. The New York Times reviewed the book as vast, panoramic, and essential with an eerie resemblance to our current times. For me, it was like a guided tour through the Civil War and three Presidencies: Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, and Grant. This book not only made the top five non-fiction list for 2017, but also the top ten for Read More
Measuring Meaning in the New Year
“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” —Thomas Merton OK, here’s the problem. When I searched the internet for “how to measure meaning,” the first item that popped up (the most popular Yahoo answer) was how to measure your penis. Apparently, a lot of men are still finding the greatest source of meaning in their life to be the size Read More
Tribes and Teams
“Before the rise of the nation-state, the world was mostly tribal. Tribes were united by language, religion, blood, and belief. They feared other tribes and often warred against them.” —Robert Reich When I conduct teambuilding sessions, I often start by administering a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) so that I can understand the different personality styles on the team. The idea is to identify and leverage differences to achieve optimal performance. The MBTI has a continuum Read More
Parenting as Helping
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” —Frederick Douglass
To be effective helpers, parents need to create the conditions and develop the skills required to make a positive difference in a child’s life. Based on my analysis of research conducted over the past 50 years, there are four conditions and four skills at the foundation of effective parenting.
Different Differences
“We have to continue to learn. We have to be open. And we have to be ready to release our knowledge in order to come to a higher understanding of reality.” —Thich-Nhat-Hahn I recently attended a Buddhist family sangha in which the discussion revolved around child raising practices. It was a lovely service consisting of young parents who were seeking ways to develop more peace in their families and in the world. After a 15-minute Read More
Missions and Missionaries
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” —Maya Angelou On a recent biking trip on the Creeper Trail in Abington, VA with the Road Scholars, I learned that Barbara Kingsolver lived in the area and owned a restaurant there. Serendipitously, our group had dinner in her restaurant, and I was delighted to see all of her Read More
I-It, I-Thou, I-THIS
“We cannot avoid using power, cannot escape the compulsion to afflict the world, so let us, cautious in diction and mighty in contradiction, love powerfully.” —Martin Buber I first came across Martin Buber when I was in college. I had had no exposure to spiritual thinkers at the time. Buber, a Jewish philosopher best known for his philosophy of dialogue, was nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature ten times and the Nobel Peace Prize Read More