Blog Posts — Page 30
![[ C ] Chuck Close - Dalai Lama (2005) | Credit: cea+](https://rickbellingham.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/flickr_centralasian_dalailamabychuckclose_web.jpg)
Helping or Hurting
It’s Day One after the election of 2016. I feel sick and scared. Who better to suggest a remedy for our spiritual malaise and existential crisis than the Dalai Lama? In a recent article in the New York Times (November 4, 2016), the Dalai Lama and Arthur Brooks co-authored a column: “Behind our Anxiety, the Fear of Being Unneeded.” It seems like an odd couple to me, but their message is profound. They point out Read More
Pain and Empathy
Pain may not be your friend, but it may be your partner. And pain may be the path to empathy.
Emptiness
I remember the knock on the door. It was 1982, and we were living in Basking Ridge, NJ. A fresh-faced and earnest 10 year-old wanted to know if he could mow our lawn. He said he was saving up to buy a car. Even though I was perfectly capable of mowing the lawn myself, I said, “Fantastic, you’re hired.” Today, 34 years later, we are still friends. Richard is now a 5th degree black belt Read More
Observation
When I look in the mirror these days I’m shocked that the old and withered face I see doesn’t reflect the way I think or feel. The image makes me acutely aware of how differently I’m viewed by people with whom I come into contact. Strangers see me as an old and irrelevant man – three steps from the nursing home. My friends know differently. And I feel more vital than I ever have in Read More
Motivation and Meaning
Buried in the noise of the latest Trump shock story are larger questions: 1) What motivates people to say and do reprehensible things?; and 2) Where do we find meaning in swirling negativity of this campaign? Please help me. I’m really trying to understand the reasons people would vote for Trump. I’m sick of listening to pundits blabbing endlessly about their particular issues. It seems more like empty speculation reflecting personal biases instead of a Read More
Imperfect Friends
No friend is perfect. Some let you down. Some disappear in a crisis. Some say the wrong words in their attempts to be helpful. Some just move on. And yet, as individuals, we need friends to survive and grow; and, as a society we need more civility, respect, and acceptance of differences if we are going to resolve the divide that plagues us. In a recent column, David Brooks said: “The great challenge of our Read More
Vision and Values
As an executive coach I often facilitate life-line and development planning workshops. The life-line exercise encourages people to share the significant events and important people in their life and how those people and events helped to shape their values. I challenge participants to be as open and transparent as they can be, and I ask them to risk sharing what may be outside their comfort zone. In spite of these guidelines, most people stay in Read More
Letting Go and Letting In
It seems like we always have to let go of stuff. As babies, at some point, we have to give up our pacifiers or security blankets. As young adults, we have to let go of our dependence on parents and become independent. As we grow older, we need to let go of our defensiveness in order to let in constructive feedback. Over the course of our lives, our security blankets and dependencies change, but we Read More
Renewal
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” —Samuel Beckett Remember when air traffic was shut down in Europe from the eruption of E15 in Iceland? It was April, 2010, when Eyjafjallajökull (E15) erupted causing floods to rush down the rivers and requiring 800 people to be evacuated. The eruption was so explosive it caused air travel disruption in Europe for 6 days. More tragically, it buried the farms below it Read More
Three Types of Trust
I’ve been married to the same woman for 46 years, and I can say unequivocally that I totally trust her. I trust her to do the right thing, I trust her to not throw me the under the bus (even though I have given her many opportunities), and I trust her to stand up for people in need of special help. When she makes a statement, I know it is based on sound research; she Read More
The Tao of Money
I just spent a few days on Isle Royale, one of the best kept, National Park secrets in the United States. I walked ten miles a day on rugged trails on this spectacular island in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The views were stunning: pristine lakes, lush forests, breathtaking views, and occasional sightings of fox, moose, and wolves. These walks filled me with renewed appreciation for Teddy Roosevelt for founding and funding the National Parks Read More
Health, Helping and Healing
As I get older, I realize that most problems and opportunities are multi-dimensional. There are many sides to every issue and many layers to every person. Things seem more complex, nuanced, and grey these days…